Saturday January 21, 2012

Boy did I make the right decision. There probably is nowhere better in the world to be than right her, right now. Today was another entirely brand new experience for me. It was fresh powder riding like I have not know before. It was a completely different activity than what I have been doing. I knew I was in a totally different place than I was accustomed when a bunch of people were carrying their own portable, collapsible shovels. Seemed a bit crazy, but some of these people do crazy things.

The snow is so deep that sometimes when I fell it was hard to get up. There is nothing to grasp on to, my hands and arms just fall straight downward. I went ass over teakettle many times today. It was so much fun, just like tumbling and landing on clouds. I am pretty sure I started a couple avalanches today. Sometimes I could only go a few hundred yards and then have to rest my legs for a second. The snow was so abundant and thick that it was quite a physical workout. There was so much snow and it snowed nonstop all day, but it never was actually that cold. Luckily there was no wind, had there been wind it might have been cold. It was a strange phenomenon to be in that much snow and not be cold. The snow was so steadily falling that I was soaking wet at the end of the day. My pants were so heavy and weighed down from being wet that they wouldn’t stay up. I looked like thug or a plumber most of the day.

I only took the tram up to the highest point once today. It was about a 30-minute wait for the tram. I didn’t see the point when I could get on the gondolala or another lift with no wait at all. The peak of the tram ride was quite a trip. I got off the tram and it was white out conditions. Everything was bright white. There was absolutely no texture or depth perception to anything. It was probably the same feeling or experience that people talk about having when they die and are walking toward the white light. After that all that I could do was walk toward the edge and feel around with my foot for the drop off. If that is what death is going to be like, I can’t wait. The fresh powder creates the golden silence of snowboarding. It is so much different when you never hear ice scraping. That golden silence is hard to find, but I know it when I find it. Like a Zen moment. It’s kind of like white noise, you know there is a noise there, but there really is no noise. Just the silent sound of the board slicing through the snow.

I met a couple of nice guys from Long Island today. I am pretty sure they just took pity on me and were nice to me because I was alone. That was nice of them. That is fine, I’ll take it. Hopefully the get in touch because I’m pretty sure they have some great video of my awesomeness 😉 And this guys name is Linus. 

Friday January 20, 2012

Wow. I did a synonym search for different words like awesome, amazing, brilliant, terrific, etc.… I was unable to find one to use in the subject. Today was one of the most unique, interesting, and amazing days of my life. I have been lucky enough to do some fun things and see some beautiful places. I think today takes the cake. The drive I had today from Vail to Jackson Hole ran the gamut of emotions. Today’s drive was the complete opposite end of the spectrum from the dull and boring cross-country drive. Today was what I had envisioned and hoped for when I imagined driving around the Wild Wild West. Today I officially felt like I was driving through the west.

It started leaving out of Vail as scary and treacherous road conditions. For some reason the possibility of poor driving conditions in the winter mountains slipped my mind. This lasted for the first couple hours, until I got north of Steamboat. I originally got on the road just before sunup. My first experience of this trip that encompasses mountain driving was Colorado route 131. The scenery was beautiful and the setting perfect. I felt like I was driving back to the 1800’s. I passed through small towns and for a while road parallel with a mile-long locomotive carrying nothing but coal. It was moving along on the ridge above me. It felt just right. The strangest things I saw were the horse farms. It was just above 20 degrees outside and none of the horses were wearing blankets. This goes against everything I have ever been taught.

The scary driving passed. I was helped by an insightful quote from the thoughtful Jimmy B, “Raise your right foot and repeat after me, I will take my time and get there when I get there.” That fit the situation perfectly. Before I knew it the sun had come up and I was driving in the most glorious, sunny, beautiful day. I was in areas where there was not a snowflake to be seen on the ground. It felt like the horizon and sky went on forever. I swear I could see 3 states over at one point. There was a point somewhere in Wyoming I followed a school bus with kids on it for about 100 miles. It was around 11am, and this bus was on a mission heading directly north. We passed no schools or bus stops. I finally got around the bus and have no idea what happened. All I could think of was a school bus driver went mental and there was an abduction underway.

After I sped away from the school bus kidnapping I am pretty sure the GPS had me get off an incorrect exit. I just looked at the map and it definitely did. But I got to know a road called Superior Cutoff Road very intimately. This road was 20 miles of nothing but dirt and gravel with ruts a Volkswagen could get lost in. Taking the wrong…long…scenic route is just part of the adventure. At least that is what my travel guide Bradford said. I agree completely. At different points of my gallivant down Superior Cutoff Road I almost fell off a cliff, thought I was going to get shot by a rancher, had to yield to giant flocks of sheep crossing the road, chased by the sheep herding dogs, almost got Deliveranced, and pretty sure I stumbled across a moonshine still. A few pictures here, but even better is a collage of videos here. I was in no hurry and enjoyed seeing everything I saw including signs for different towns that read, “Elevation 6893 Population 220”. I allotted 2 days for the drive, even though I knew it would not take nearly that long. I planned to get to Jackson Hole sometime Saturday. The drive went so smoothly that I was here and checked in by 5pm. There were a couple times that an hour passed without seeing another vehicle.

The last hour of my drive up through Jackson and into Teton Village was without a question a snow-covered thing of beauty. Around every corner was another picturesque mountain peak, valley, or meadow of pure white, untouched goodness. The Tetons seemed to jut out of the earth as if they were left there by accident. There was no gradual incline. It looks like a right angle on the surface of the Earth.

I truly have never seen so much beauty as I did on today’s drive. This was what I hoped for. For every one of the amazing things I remembered about today I am sure I forgot 2 more.

Thursday January 19, 2012

Well, today wraps up this leg of the Carnival. Thank you Vail Mountain for a fantastic last day and memorable week. The conditions today were as good as they were going to get. I finally got into some tree skiing in one of the bowls. I made it out alive. It was wonderful, beautiful, hypnotic, mesmerizing, and serene all at the same time. Since I thought today might be my last day I tried to get to all the lifts and parts of the mountain that I had yet to see this week. I thought I did a pretty good job of seeing most of the mountain. Just as I thought I grasped how gigantic this mountain was, I rode the lift with one of the Information people. He told me that the back bowls (which are still not open) are twice as big as the entire front side of the mountain that I had explored. That idea almost made my brain melt. Another final day ritual is to get a new sticker for my board. A little secret, this entire trip is just a ruse to collect stickers for my snowboard. I stayed out there today from almost open to close, assuming it was my last day here. I rode the entire time minus one cigar break (thank you again Hillbilly, he really does know me better than anybody). One of the great things about tree skiing is you can go an hour without seeing another human. There are times I felt like I had my own mountain. I say human because I did have one chipmunk visitor during my cigar break. I tried to get him to pose for a picture but he was wayyyyyyyy to busy. In the middle of the mountain woods, unstrap the board, prop it up as a backstop and sit against a tree having a nice cigar for myself like a gentleman…nothing more relaxing and peaceful.

GMB is officially gone. He left on an airport shuttle a couple hours ago. Now would be a great time if anyone else wants to jump on the Carnival bandwagon. He says he had a good time, which I think he did. This afternoon he and I went out for his special treat for being a trooper yesterday. Our travel agent blew it on the Vail Cookie Company, but we found him some sweets.

I just made the decision that tomorrow will start the first detour of the itinerary. I had scheduled to head to Telluride tomorrow or Saturday. Jackson Hole, Wyoming is getting pulverized with snow recently and this coming week. Part of this journey was the ability to revamp and go where the snow is. That is exactly what I am going to do. I flipped a coin, honestly, and 2 out of 3 tails told me to go to Wyoming. I just reserved a room in Jackson Hole starting Saturday for a few nights. I will play it day to day after that. The cheapest room they had came with my new favorite thing in the world, a Murphy bed. I was excited to go from one MB to another. Then I accidentally saw that a regular room with a regular-persons-non-fold-out-of-the-wall bed was only $35 more. I splurged. Now that it is too late I think I made a bad decision on the non-Murphy bed room. I may still end up in Telluride before next week ends, but who cares, that feels like a lifetime away.

I saw two other really unusual things today. I saw a bunch of the snowcats lined up first thing this morning. You don’t usually see them out in the day. They work like Santa. I know they exist and what they do, but they do it in the middle of the night while everyone sleeps. Then when you wake up in the morning and run downstairs their handiwork is obvious. I think they were going to stage a runaway snowcat marathon. Oh yea, and look at this guy! Adorable! Miniature Australian Shepherd.

Thanks again Vail. Sometimes the idiotic drivel goes over at The Daily.

That’s it. Hope you didn’t expect more.

Saturday January 14, 2012

Made the rest of the drive today to Vail. It was only just over an hour. I am feeling somewhat better today after a good, long night sleep last night. I’m still sick, but living with the problem. We got into town around noon, parked, and got oriented with the town. We are staying in Lionshead, one of the mountain villages in Vail. Our room is about 100-yard walk to the center of the village and the main gondola. Pretty sweet location. I walked around with GMB for a while, talking about the town and skiing, and answering his boyhood questions. GMB has never skied or anything even close to skied before. Everything he saw today he was seeing for the first time. It was pretty cute. Probably what it would be like if I had a 50-something year old son. I can only walk around a mountain village for so long knowing that all my gear was just around the corner not being used. It was a gorgeous sunny 30-degree day, so I excused myself from GMB and put my Epic Pass to use. I am really glad I purchased the Epic Pass. A 1-day pass for Vail is $116! I did about 6 or 7 runs this afternoon, all were good. Vail Mountain seems huge. They claim, “there is nothing like it on earth.” I didn’t see much of the mountain but I worked my way from one side to the other in a couple hours. It was late and everything was choppy. I plan to be out there first thing tomorrow morning. Nothing to report for snowfall here in Vail, but the extended forecast has just recently changed to snow showers for most of this week. Fingers crossed, but it is hard to have faith. Apparently there is no god or Jesus, Tebow is down 35-7 at the half.

The room we are staying in is something else. This is the smallest room I have ever stayed in while I am staying with the largest person I have ever roomed with. GMB is about 6’11” and there are no beds in this room. There is a pull out sofa and what GMB is calling a ‘murphy bed’. It is a bed that folds up into the closet?!? What the eff is that? I feel like I am in an episode of The Three Stooges or Laverne & Shirley. Both unfold toward each other and they touch each other at the end of each mattress. It is like the 2 beds are bumping helmets. There is not enough room for both beds to be out. One of us will be sleeping at a slight incline all week. I am pretty sure I know which one of us it will not be.

I have felt so rushed, hurried, and on the move for the past few days. I guess I have been all of those things. I am hoping now that I am here and settled in, I will be able to relax into this trip and enjoy what I have set out to do. The Snowboard Gypsy is searching for Zen.

Friday January 13, 2012, yep that’s right. Friday the 13^th.

Wow, what another hell of a day. So many things, so many stories. Did about another 850 miles today. Currently west of Denver somewhere, about an hour from Vail. I think that is the current plan, head to Vail. Take a couple days to settle in, slow down, and adjust to everything. I got some help from my close friend and travel assistant Bradford today. He pointed us in the right direction. And he did it in typical Bradford fashion, while making everyone laugh, yoinks. It was smooth steady driving. Once again, no traffic. Seems odd, but there was no traffic. I can’t decide if there is just nobody that lives in the areas we are driving through, we are in places that nobody cares about and want to be at, or just getting super lucky. I saw gasoline today for as low as 2.79/gallon. It was 85 octane, but whatevs.

Friday the 13^th started early for us today. We ran out of gas, yes, 2 adult men ran out of gas on I-70 westbound at exit 85 in Kansas. Here is my version of the story. GMB was driving, I was taking a nap in the passenger seat. Next thing I know we are sitting on the shoulder out of gas. That is my story, and I am sticking to it. If GMB has a different version you can go read it on his website. Luckily we only sat still for around 10 minutes. A cop and a service station guy both showed up and sold us gas within 10 minutes. We were pretty lucky. Before they got there GMB and I got out of the car, started Tebowing on the shoulder of the highway, nothing happened, then we realized we had not crossed into Colorado quite yet. But then shortly after we were! Colorado!!

Before we left the hotel this morning we had their continental breakfast. Everyone has seen a continental breakfast before and we are all familiar with how dreadful they always are. The one this morning had something neither of us had ever seen. It had an individual pancake maker machine. It was pretty cool, and completely new to me in the world of things I have seen. I was somehow able to take the coolest thing that has happened so far on this trip and make the most boring video in history out of the event. It’s here unfortunately.

We were at dinner tonight in some hole in the wall local diner. Probably my favorite way to eat when I travel. I made a few personal revelations about myself during that dinner. First, and most important, I am probably going to be wearing a cowboy hat before the end of this trip. Next, the town we had dinner in is probably the kind of town I would like to ultimately move to. The lady at the table next to us paid for her dinner with a check…a paper check. If you are not sure what that is, Google it. Since I fell in love with the town I took the liberty of grabbing some real estate papers. I think I might put an offer in on a spot there, but please don’t tell Wife, she might be upset. I think her one rule to me when I left was “don’t buy any land”. Seemed like a weird rule when she said it, but I guess I get it now.

Today was Amber Alert Awareness Day. There were signs about it all over the interstates flashing nonstop. Once GMB and I saw them we decided we better be on our best behavior. Seemed like an odd thing to have an awareness day for. Is there really someone that would see an Amber Alert on another day and think to themselves, “I’ll call tomorrow, it’s awareness day.”

Somehow in the past 24 hours I have gotten deathly sick. I feel like hot buttered crap. Everything from my shoulders up is wrecked. I hope a good night sleep fixes this. I went through 2 boxes of tissues today. I just drank some Nyquil and waiting for that to kick in while finishingggggggg12wsxde3frvbghnm,?,kjukl,.l/

Speeding tickets that is. Thanks a lot Ohio.  Other than that today was a successful first day of cross-country driving. Right at 1000 miles and a 15-hour day. Not quite sure where the destination is yet, but it is either Vail or Jackson Hole. Sleepy time now. I hope Ohio is swallowed up by a tidal wave that somehow magically skips over the entire right coast.
More nonsensical rambling about today HERE.

Last night Wife and I went on a dog sled ride and dinner at a place in Snowmass called Krabloonik. It was not quite what we expected, but ended up being quite a fun and unique time. I don’t think us or any of our dog team will be winning the Iditarod anytime soon, but we did set a world record for number of running dog deuces. George Carlin has an old bit about how you never see anyone “Taking a shit while running at full speed”. The late and great Mr. Carlin obviously never went on a dog sled ride.

It became obvious during the picture sequence when and where I spotted the camera guy. If you watch the pictures in sequence you can see where I first spotted him, then I tried to act natural for the camera, then it simply turned into an uncomfortable staring game between me and the cameraman. What a weirdo I am.

Last night made me examine exactly how we treat our dogs and just how lazy those mutts are. As soon as we get home they are either going to have to get jobs or enroll in community college. Roller coasters.[nggallery id=2]

No, it’s not a dwarf telling you that your hair smells nice. It is waking up in the morning, flipping on the news, and seeing this image flash across the screen:What is happening to me right now is the equivalent of Jeff Spicoli heading over to the Australian and Hawaiian internationals only to find out that the ocean has dried up. Then winging on over to London only to find out that Keith has finally died of an overdose. He would be one sad stoner. I think I have made it pretty clear how I’m feeling right now. A snow drought? Really? Is that even a thing? If there was a god I’d swear he was smooting me…smiting me…either way, something bad. Luckily I live in the age of hot chicks giving out the weather.

I guess if you order a dessert called a “snowman”, you shouldn’t be surprised if this is what you get. It might just be the cutest dessert ever. It seemed like a tragedy watching him get eaten. Unfortunately this is the most snow we have seen in one place our entire week. I swear I heard him scream out in agony as the spoon knocked away his corncob pipe, plucked out his eyes of coal, bashed his button nose, and dug into his snowman brains. Thank you Jimmy’s Restaurant in Aspen!

PS-all the boring stuff is not located under “The Daily” tab